【Big Dick | Adult Movies Online】

There is Big Dick | Adult Movies Onlinea fact that has gone surprisingly unremarked in all the Rogue Onenews so far. You can probably use it to impress the next Star Wars nerd you meet. Ready?

Rogue Oneis the first Star Wars movie in history, out of the eight completed so far, to not have a single lightsaber fight in it.

The chain of tense neon-lit rumbles, from Darth Vader vs. Obi-Wan Kenobi in 1977 to Rey vs. Kylo Ren in 2015, may finally be broken.

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SEE ALSO: Everything you wanted to know about 'Rogue One' but were afraid to ask

I say "may" because of course nobody outside the cast and crew has seen the completed film all the way through. But director Gareth Edwards describes it as a war story about ordinary humans who need to band together to survive. "It's the most realistic Star Wars yet," he says.

Besides, if someone were to lock lightsticks, you'd think the overeager Disney marketing department would be going to town promoting the toys for Christmas, not to mention put a saber in the trailers somewhere.

No, there are no Jedi in this movie either, save for Darth Vader, the fallen Jedi, who will be seen sparingly and has no one to spar with anyway. (Why do you think Vader was so slow when fighting old Obi-Wan, a battle set right after this film? He was out of practice.)

Yen for victory

But there's another important reason why lightsabers wouldn't make sense in Rogue One. Two words: Donnie Yen.

"Now the movie is done, I think it wouldbe cooler if they gave me a lightsaber," the martial arts star mused to Mashable. "Based on previous Star Wars movies, come on ... me swinging one compared to all the actors ... I don't think you would ever let anybody else swing a lightsaber in the future. I'd set the standard so high. I'd drop the mic."

Could Donnie Yen defeat Darth Vader, then? "Absolutely," he laughs. "Maybe that's why they didn't give me one. Give me a lightsaber, you wouldn't have two hours of storytelling. Give Chirrut a lightsaber, he could take the Empire."

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In a movie where the heroes are supposed to be relatively weak, and must fail at stopping the Death Star altogether (see Star Wars Episode IV), an armed and fully operational Donnie Yen would be something of a handicap.

No wonder they tried to stick his hands in concrete.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Yen, who it is hard to believe is 51, is already a legend in Hong Kong for his dozens of groundbreaking mixed martial arts action movies. In Rogue One, Yen plays warrior monk Chirrut Îmwe -- not just the first "warrior monk" in a series that has known only Jedi, but also the first Star Wars character with a circumflex in his name. (Google it.)

In the trailers, we've glimpsed Yen dropping 10 stormtroopers with nothing but a stick. Journalists were shown an extended version of that scene, and I'll just say it's quite possible that Yen steals the entire movie because of it.

Also in that scene are hints of Chirrut's backstory, one that reaches into the deepest parts of Star Wars' in-universe legend. We'll have more to discuss on that score once the movie opens.

But Yen says the film is also notable for what it doesn'ttell you about the mysterious character.

"Hopefully they come up with a novel of why's he there, why's he so skillful," the actor told Mashable. "When we are shaping the character, you have to build his past. [But] people took it for granted. Why did he take on 10 stormtroopers? Oh, because he's Donnie Yen.

"Audiences would like to know, why's he able to do what he does? Dodging laser guns with his ears -- was he born that way?"

Whatever the in-universe reason, we know why Chirrut is blind in Rogue One-- because Yen himself suggested that bit to Gareth Edwards.

After all, give Donnie Yen a pair of working eyes, he can take on the Empire. It's only sporting to remove them.

Topics Star Wars