【rientalism, eroticism and modern visuality in global cultures】

Iron Fist might pack a powerful punch,rientalism, eroticism and modern visuality in global cultures but lately he's been on the receiving end of a critical pummeling.

The first reviews for Netflix's latest Marvel superhero show have not been good, to put it mildly. In most normal circumstances, I'd stay the hell away from a series with reviews that bad. But Iron Fisthas the Marvel name on it, and I'm a Marvel obsessive. That's how they get you.

SEE ALSO: 'Iron Fist' reviews: Does the show live up to to its Marvel predecessors?

So when Iron Fistfinally hit Netflix this morning after months of loud buzz – some of it good, most of it bad – I fired up my television to give the show a go.

The first thing that happened when I sat down to watch Iron Fistwas I discovered that Enter the Dragonwas playing on HBO (or Cinemax, or one of those other premium cable channels). Bruce Lee is definitely subtweeting me from beyond the grave.

The second thing that happened was that I noticed all the episode titles had these weird bullshit titles meant to sound vaguely "Asian." "Under Leaf Pluck Lotus." "Black Tiger Steals Heart." "Dragon Plays with Fire."

We are not off to a good start here.

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But it's my job to watch this thing, so I proceed. Here are some thoughts I had while watching the first two episodes, "Snow Gives Way" and "Shadow Hawk Takes Flight."

1. Our guy is first introduced walking down a New York City sidewalk in bare feet. Bare feet!

I am immediately disgusted by Danny, but if they're trying to make me feel sorry for Finn Jones it's working.

Oh, and "So Fresh, So Clean" is playing because irony, I guess. I realize later that I should have treasured this joke because it is one of the very few we'll get in the entire series.

2. Danny waltzes into a heavily guarded corporate building and demands to see the CEO. Needless to say, security does not take kindly to this.

So Danny beats them all up and makes his way up the elevator. This is horrifying! That receptionist and those guards were just trying to do their jobs, which is to protect the people in the building from creepy weirdos who walk in off the street.

It also makes Iron Fistkinda-sorta a story about white privilege, but not in a good way.

First, it takes a special kind of pampered obliviousness on Danny's part to just assume that every single person in the building will take him at his word that he's the presumed-dead heir to the company. And second, imagine what would happen if literally anyone but a white guy beat up a bunch of security guards to sneak into a Manhattan high-rise in the middle of a work day. There would be lockdowns. Evacuations. Calls to the NYPD.

What there would definitely notbe is a bunch of people standing around in the lobby, looking kind of cranky about the whole thing but just kinda shrugging it off.

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3. Surprise, surprise: the Meachums are not happy to see him, which seems very freaking understandable to me?

I know the Meachums are supposed to be the bad guys of this story, or at least that some of them are, but I've gotta say, I'm #TeamMeachum to start. It's hard to blame these people for being angry and scared that some total stranger has breached security and infiltrated their building and is now spouting nonsense about everyone's dead parents.

4. Danny Rand reacts to being turned away from the office building by ... breaking into Joy Meachum's house. What?

Guys, I'm starting to think Danny Rand is not a good person.

I was told Iron Fistwould be a superhero show about Loras Tyrell having magical martial arts powers, but so far it's looking like the story of a nice family and their terrifying stalker.

5. Let's talk about Danny Rand's hair for a second.

While rooting around Joy Meachum's house, Danny has a flashback to childhood, where he and Joy and Ward Meachum were all sitting around playing a game. In this flashback, Danny, who is about 10, has straight-ish hair with just a slight wave.

Is it normal for a straight-haired 10-year-old kid to grow up to become a ramen-haired 25-year-old man? Does this mean the younger version of Danny used to straight iron his hair? Or that the older version of Danny is perming his? I have so many questions.

6. With nowhere else to go, Danny heads to the park for the night. To entertain himself, he whips out a first-generation iPod.

This is actually the most upsetting part of the entire two episodes I watched, but for once it's not Iron Fist's fault. My initial reaction was "Ha! You done fucked up, show! Danny's been gone for 15 years! Why would he have an iPod??"

Then came the chilling reaction that Danny has an iPod because iPods are over 15 years old. Holy shit, where has the time gone? What have I done with my life? Why am I so old? Have I lived a life of value? Will my next 15 years go by so quickly?

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7. Danny befriends a homeless person who lives in the park.

Kind of. He's a real dick about it. This guy clearly just wants to help but Danny is amiably condescending toward him and laughs in his face about the notion that the outside world would see the two of them together and assume they're "pretty much alike." Later, Danny will quote Buddha at this poor fellow. Anyway, don't get too attached to him, because nothing good happens to him later.

8. A CG eagle flies around the Manhattan skyline.

What's that about? Is Danny a warg or something?

9. Colleen Wing tries to be nice to Danny, so of course he immediately starts being obnoxious to her.

Danny and Colleen have a brief exchange in perfect, relatively unaccented* English, and yet Danny decides that now he is going to start speaking to her in Mandarin. Danny is every white guy who has ever beamed at me with smug satisfaction after mangling a basic greeting to me in whatever he thinks my "native tongue" is.

(* Finn Jones and Jessica Henwick are both British. His American accent is perfect. Hers is less so.)

Colleen shuts that down right away, which I think is the show trying to demonstrate that they totally get it! They do not get it. Danny demands a job at her dojo, and when she refuses, he shows up there later and tries again. He tells her how to run her dojo ("Do you teach kung fu? You probably should, you'd get more students") and then, I dunno, lectures her about practice swords or something.

Honestly, I kinda tuned out at this point.

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10. Danny continues his tour of terrorizing Manhattan by cornering Ward in his car.

Danny admits he has not driven since he was a small child sitting on his dad's lap and pretending to drive, but slams the accelerator anyway like he's Vin Diesel or something. Ward is understandably terrified and threatens Danny with a gun. Danny grabs the gun, points it back at Ward, and lectures Ward about how Ward was mean to him 15 years ago.

Danny is so hell-bent on proving his identity that it never seems to occur to him that even if he is the real Danny Rand, no one owes him the time of day.

11. Dad Meachum is alive, and he's a dick.

After his exhausting misadventure with Danny, Ward returns home where we learn his dad, whom we had previously learned died several years ago, is still alive. Surprise! Of course, if you recognized character actor David Wenham from Lord of the Ringsor Top of the Lakeor Lionor Iron Fist's own promotional campaign, you probably could've guessed that already.

Anyway, Dad Meachum is a total irredeemable asshole in a way that makes me feel really sorry for Ward Meachum. It's probably not a good sign for the show that Ward seems like a way more relatable and interesting character than Danny does.

12. Danny wakes up in a mental ward, which is probably where he belongs, honestly.

The Meachums manage to drug Danny and get him to a mental hospital, where he wakes up at the start of Episode 2. This seems like a reasonable way for them to react to Danny, frankly! For all they know, he's a maniac or a con man trying to cheat them out of their money. (Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention -- a lot of the Meachum stuff is boring corporate intrigue.) He's been harassing them at work and at home and even put Ward's life at risk. Why wouldn't they get him committed?

Danny, of course, is very put out by this whole thing and starts throwing temper tantrums. This entire show is people reacting sanely to Danny's insane story and Danny beating them up for it.

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13. Colleen is already too good for this show.

A bunch of young people on the street attack Colleen while she's going about her day, and she handily takes them all down. It turns out they're not random muggers, but her students, so she gives them some snarky advice.

Colleen's moves honestly look way better than anything we've seen Danny do so far. For a martial arts show, the martial arts in this show are not very good. They're just generic fight scenes, and they're slow and clumsy in a way that suggests Finn Jones maybe has not done his homework. Henwick (or her stunt double) moves way more fluidly, and the character has more personality. Can we pull her out of this show and give her and Misty Knight a Daughters of the Dragonspinoff already, please?

14. We flash back to Danny's childhood for like the 10,000th time.

It is actually amazing how repetitive this show feels just two episodes in. The show's already gotten what feels like hoursof mileage out of the one day they shot Child Danny's plane crash scene. The dialogue is mostly people repeating information back at each other. Danny keeps having to convince people over and over that he really is Danny. Et cetera.

15. Ward Meachum speaks for all of us.

At one point in the second episode, Ward gets a phone call from his dad, who scolds him for plot exposition reasons. "He says he is the sworn enemy of The Hand. Do you realize how important that could be?" yells Father Meachum.

Ward kinda just rolls his eyes and responds, "Not really!"

Ward is me.

Side note: In an effort to be sneaky – because, remember, no one's supposed to know Older Meachum is still alive – Ward has his dad listed in his phone as "Frank N. Stein." Dude.

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16. After two excruciatingly long episodes, Danny finally unleashes his superpower.

He has a really strong fist that glows. It sounds stupid and it looks stupider.

Incidentally, this comes after a long talk with Danny and the psychiatrist in which the doc notes that "Ever since the incident, I'm seeing a lot more people who honestly believe they have superpowers." I'd kind of like to see this guy's story. Does he ever believe these patients, or does he just spend all his time unintentionally gaslighting them? If he doesn't believe them, why not? He lives in a world where the existence of Captain America, the Hulk, and Luke Cage are public knowledge! Why wouldn't people have superpowers?

17. Why is Iron Fist part of the Netflix-Marvel universe?

I mean, I think I know why– if you're gonna have Luke Cage, the comic book fans are gonna demand Iron Fist. But in all other respects, he's an odd fit for this gritty little corner of the MCU. Matt Murdock, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage are all ground-level heroes with moderate goals, dealing with immediate and personal threats. They've got powers, but they're worried about paying the bills or dealing with obnoxious neighbors or getting caught up in awkward entanglements.

Meanwhile, Iron Fist is the rightful heir of a billion-dollar fortune who has actual magic powers. Not only does he stick out like a sore thumb, his story feels mind-numbingly familiar. He's Tony Stark minus the charisma, Stephen Strange minus the brilliance. Why is he here?

18. What does Iron Fist want?

Danny Rand wants people to understand he's Danny Rand. He feels obligated to protect the world from The Hand, or something. And ... that's about all I understand of his driving motivation here. I shouldn't be wondering what the point of this entire series is, two episodes in.

19. And now I'm worried about the Defenders.

When Marvel TV first got into business with Netflix, they announced they were making five shows: Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, and The Defenders. The first three of those have all been good enough that the prospect of a Defendersteam-up down the line sounded intriguing and exciting.

But Iron Fistis the franchise's first real misfire. It's boring and repetitive and poorly cast. I'm a lot less excited about seeing this character return. It's clear Netflix is setting us up for an Iron Fist / Luke Cage partnership of some sort, since the characters are BFFs in the comics – but it's honestly difficult to imagine what thisversion of Luke Cage could possibly want with thisversion of Iron Fist. And don't even get me started on the queasy possibility of a comics-accurate Iron Fist / Misty Knight romantic pairing.

It's too late for The Defendersto do anything about this, since shooting on that series has been going on for months already. To be clear, I still think The Defenderswill be fun. But Iron Fistshould prove an interesting test case about the downside of Marvel's meticulously planned, hyper-connected approach to franchise-building.

Can they pivot, or are we stuck proceeding with whatever grandiose plans they had for Iron Fist before he turned out to be a dud?

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