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Sometime in the past few months,forced dog sex videos a lawyer in Chicago spent $8.21 on tacos from Chipotle after breaking up with her boyfriend. Around the same time, a woman in Minneapolis who works in human resources paid $7.48 for a shower curtain. And at some point, a digital strategist in Boston spent $58 on "ground chicken, kale, broccoli rabe, parsnips, chickpeas, steak tips, salsa, bell peppers, and a bag of honey-roasted chickpeas I keep in my desk to snack on."

This information is all incredibly boring. So why did I devour it like it was a TMZ column?

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Though the era of the personal essay has ended, the age of the "budget diary" is alive and well. These days, the foremost example is Refinery29's Money Diaries section (though there are also a fair number of diaries on Man Repeller), in which anonymous diarists reveal their salaries and monthly bills, then track each of their discretionary expenses for a week. Some of the diaries (from the people who make high salaries, specifically) feel fun and aspirational, even fantastical. If the diary week falls during some kind of lavish vacation, even better!

Other diaries -- the ones that are similar to my daily life -- evoke more complicated emotions. On one hand, they do contain useful budgeting tips. On the other hand, they make me feel like shit -- I should pack my lunch more often and consider enjoying lettuce cups. And on a third, secret, petty hand, I feel superior. I would never spend asmuch money on lip balm as thatdiarist. I must be doing something right!

On one hand, they contain useful budgeting tips. On the other hand, I should pack my lunch more often.

Unsurprisingly, I am not the only person with a complex relationship to budgeting -- especially among my fellow millennials. Aside from being blamed from killing everything from napkins to the Canadian tourism industry, millennials have somehow gained a reputation for being careless with money -- one that many of us have internalized.

That's why many millennials, especially those immersed in the online budgeting community, have developed a "reactionary response" to that bad rep, explained Dr. Sean Luo, a psychiatrist and assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University. By seeking to achieve financial independence "as quickly as possible," they hope to buck society's low expectations for their financial success.

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There has long been an online community dedicated to achieving financial success, Dr. Luo explained, citing to the hyper-frugal money management blog Mr. Money Mustache as an early example. Budget diaries, in many ways, are the second coming of this community -- their down-to-the-dollar rigorousness functions as implicit budgeting advice, even if they're not technicallytelling you how to spend your money. (If explicit advice is what you seek, there is the comments section, where plenty of people will happily tell you how to spend your money.) And for readers interested in achieving financial success, observing the patterns of people who might be doing money "right" is attractive -- even alluring.

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To be clear, there are a lot of readers interested in financial success. (Refinery29's Money Diaries page is so successful, it's being made into a book.) Why? If you're on a budget at all, you're interested in money management -- it's a reality from which very few people are truly exempt.

"People can identify readily with the experience of keeping records and keeping a budget," Dr. Luo explained. "These are very common aspects of people's anxieties in life."

That ubiquity might also explain the wildest part of the budget diary community: the comments.I have never seen a budget diary in which the diarist's habits weren't ripped to shreds below the post. This criticism can take a number of forms, but it's always there: if they're not too cheap, they're too loose with cash. Or they're too dependent on a significant other. Or they haven't shared enough details about their 401k.

Personally, I could never bring myself to critique a diarist in the comments section. Writing for the internet will do that to you. But I have found myself succumbing, occasionally, to a similar judgmental impulse. Remember, I judged someone for how much they spent on lip balm!

If they're not too cheap, they're too loose with cash. Or they're too dependent on a significant other.

And according to Dr. Luo, it's precisely because money is such a common source of anxiety that we seek out flaws in other people's budgets. "Seeing that other people might be in a greater [financial] pickle may be... reassuring," he said. "It might feel rewarding for the people who are looking at it."

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Of course, reading money diaries doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with your online habits. I have certainly gleaned valuable tips -- largely about repurposing leftovers -- from them. Mostly, I enjoy budget diaries in the same way I enjoy Terrace House-- they're mundane, pleasant bits of escapism. I don't live in San Luis Obispo, California, and I did not drop $72 at Sephora last Thursday, and I did not attend an uncle's birthday party by Walloon Lake last weekend, but someone did. And that's fun to read about.

But if you find that reading money diaries usually makes you feel like garbage, consider reevaluating your relationship with them. "Excessive concern about money and savings to the detriment of [a reader's] enjoyment of their life is a potential problem," Dr. Luo said.

I'll admit that I've found myself wondering: Would my life be more like this diarist's if my bills were lower? What if I lived in a different city? What if I hadn't eaten breakfast out that one day? But sometimes comparison really is the thief of joy (sorry), and it's at those times that I try to close the tab and look at something else instead.

I'll still read that Money Diaries book, though.

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